In Islamic teachings, one of the factors of human salvation is behavior that leads to fulfilling the rights of relatives;[1] carrying out these behaviors depends on having an accurate and principled understanding of them. These necessary behaviors are, on the one hand, rights, and on the other hand, duties.
Although these rights and duties are broad and numerous, their general principles are mentioned in the verses of the Quran[2], and many of their details are discussed in the narrations, which are briefly referred to in this writing.
Meeting Material Needs
Islamic law has established specific financial rights for relatives. The Quran describes financial support of relatives as one of the characteristics of the righteous.[3] God Almighty has instructed that if the relatives of the deceased are present at the time of distributing the inheritance, a share should be allocated to them[4] before the estate is divided:
“And when relatives, orphans, and the needy are present at the time of the distribution, give them something from it and speak to them in a kind and appropriate manner”.[5]
In several verses, expressions such as giving to relatives (ایتاءِ ذِی الْقُرْبى)[6], give the relative his due right (آتِ ذَا الْقُرْبِی حَقَّهُ)[7], and so give the relative his due right (فَآتِ ذَا الْقُرْبِی حَقَّهُ)[8] are mentioned.
From these, it is understood that among the definite rights of relatives are financial support and meeting their material needs, and nothing should prevent the fulfillment of their financial needs.[9]
In the expenditures of khums[10] and fay[11] as well, relatives hold priority, even though the intended meaning of (ذِی الْقُرْبى) in these verses may refer specifically to the close relatives of the Prophet (PBUHH).[12]
Priority in Inheritance
In addition to the principle of inheritance itself, giving priority to relatives in inheritance is also one of their rights.[13] God has classified relatives in matters of inheritance and has assigned inheritance rights according to these classes.
As long as relatives exist, non-relatives have no right to inherit, and as long as closer relatives are present, more distant relatives have no right to inherit.[14]
Providing Food for a Needy Orphaned Relative
In Islamic culture, an orphan has strongly emphasized rights upon the responsibility of all Muslims. It is clear that an orphan who is also a relative deserves special attention from two perspectives: being an orphan and being a relative. Giving one’s cherished wealth to an orphan in order to meet their needs is among the signs of the righteous:
وَآتَى الْمَالَ عَلى حُبِّهِ ذَوِی الْقُرْبى و الیتامی
“… and he gives wealth, despite loving it, to relatives and orphans …”.[15]
The Noble Quran has also emphasized paying attention to feeding a needy orphaned relative in times of hardship and hunger: “Or feeding, on a day of severe hunger, an orphan who is a relative”.[16],[17]
Leniency in Claims When Dealing with Relatives
Among the rights of relatives mentioned in the narrations is not demanding the repayment of debts in a harsh and strict manner. Imam Sadiq (AS) considered such behavior, being strict and harsh in demanding repayment, as a negative trait in the Islamic lifestyle and cited the verse, “and they fear an evil (harsh and difficult) reckoning”,[18] in this regard.[19]
On this basis, Amir al-Muminin, Imam Ali (AS) regarded making matters easier and helping relatives endure hardships and difficulties as among the practical examples of honoring one’s clan and relatives.[20]
Relieving Financial Hardship
A Muslim is obliged to strive to relieve the poverty and hardship of his relative. Imam Ali (AS) says: “Take action to ease the hardship of your needy relative”.[21]
Keeping in Touch (Checking In)
The simplest level and the minimum right in dealing with relatives is maintaining contact with them. Preserving and continuing kinship ties and avoiding cutting off relations are among the divine commands.
In one verse, God commands the maintenance of a bond and places its continuity under the guarantee of reverence for the Lord and fear of a bad reckoning on the Day of Resurrection.[22]
In two other verses, in a threatening tone, first, those who cut off these ties are described as losers in the capital of their existence and as companions of corruption on the earth[23], and second, they are introduced as deserving of divine curse, evil, and punishment in the Hereafter.[24]
Narrations transmitted from Imam Sadiq and Imam Kazim (AS) have interpreted the relationships referred to in these verses as relationships with relatives and kin.[25] In some narrations, everyone is urged to maintain ties with relatives even if only by offering a greeting.[26]
Maintaining these relationships is so important that in a hadith from the Messenger of God (PBUH), maintaining ties with relatives is mentioned among the highest levels of religious conduct after faith in God Almighty.[27]
In another narration, maintaining connections with close relatives and kin is described as among the most beloved paths toward God and even ranked above striving in the path of God (jihad fi sabil Allah).[28]
Greeting Relatives
In the practice (Sunnah) of the Prophet (PBUHH) and the Ahl al-Bayt (AS), greeting (salam) holds special importance. In a narration from the Prophet (PBUHH), it is stated that relationships with kin and relatives should be maintained even if it is only through a greeting.[29]
Additionally, in a Quranic verse that permits consuming the food of relatives, a general instruction regarding greeting is mentioned: “And when you enter a house, greet yourselves with peace, peace and blessings from God, a blessed and pure greeting”.[30]
This greeting, expressed with the collective phrase Ala anfusikum, indicating a greeting to a group or kind, can be understood as the right of greeting toward the family and relatives mentioned in this verse.
The instruction emphasizes that greeting is a right for relatives present in the household; it should not be assumed that if relatives are present, greeting is unnecessary. In two narrations from Imam Baqir (AS), this greeting is explained as greeting the members of one’s own household.[31]
Avoiding Harm
Harm and harassment can take many forms, such as quarrels and fights, revealing information obtained through kinship, speaking ill of relatives, uninvited or untimely visits, unnecessary interference, staying too long in their homes, and so on.
Avoiding these behaviors is among the obvious rights of relatives. The Messenger of God (PBUHH) said: “The highest form of maintaining kinship ties is not harming relatives”.[32]
Love and Kindness
Showing love and kindness to relatives is among their rights, referred to in several Quranic verses. Kindness (Ihsan) refers to any form of help and support given to another. The Quran commands believers to show kindness to all people; however, kindness toward relatives is given priority and emphasized more strongly.[33]
In multiple Quranic accounts, the Children of Israel were given covenants to be kind and charitable toward their relatives[34], and they were reproached for neglecting kindness toward kin.[35]
An important point in the Islamic lifestyle is that all actions must be aligned with God’s pleasure and displeasure. Accordingly, God instructs believers that in prioritizing relatives over others in love, which is an emotional and natural inclination, the love for relatives should never take precedence over love for God and His Prophet (PBUHH).
Believers must not let familial emotions dominate them to the extent that they neglect God, jihad in His path, or even act against disbelieving relatives. Preferring and prioritizing love for God and the Prophet (PBUHH) is a sign of a person’s faith, and anyone who prefers love for relatives over love for God and His Prophet is considered devoid of true faith.[36]
Respect in Dealing with Relatives
All relatives should be careful to uphold each other’s dignity and honor. The Islamic lifestyle sets standards, and the level and quality of respectful treatment of relatives is based on these criteria. Respect and honoring can be expressed in two ways: verbal and practical.
Verbal respect occurs when a relative approaches but the person is unable to fulfill their request or need. God Almighty commands gentleness and compassion toward relatives.
He instructs believers that if a needy relative comes to them and they do not have the means to meet their needs, but they hope in God’s mercy for better circumstances, they should not respond with rejection, humiliation, harshness, or disrespect.
Instead, they should respond with kind, thoughtful, and loving words, offer hope for the future, and not leave them discouraged.[37]
Support Based on Divine Principles
Relations with relatives naturally exceed those with others. Members of a kinship network should ensure that sin does not become habitual in their gatherings. In relationships with relatives, there may be opportunities for disobedience to God or for violating others’ rights and reputations.
Behaviors such as mocking, finding faults, gossiping, backbiting, belittling, and humiliation are among these harms. God Almighty warns: “Whenever you hear people denying or mocking the verses of God, do not sit with them so they may speak otherwise; otherwise, you will be like them”.[38]
The Quran emphasizes that love for relatives should not take precedence over the will of God and His love: “Say, if your fathers, sons, brothers, spouses, or clans are more beloved to you than God, His Messenger, and striving in His cause, then wait for His punishment. God does not guide the defiantly disobedient people”.[39]
Accordingly, in the Islamic lifestyle, one of the rights of relatives is protecting them from committing sin and observing their rights in all interactions. If a relative attempts to exploit another relative’s position or abilities to gain unfair benefit, they should first be warned.
If they persist, one should refuse their request so that sin and its consequences do not spread among members of the kinship network.
Forgiveness in Dealing with Relatives
Forgiving and overlooking the mistakes of relatives, and treating them generously,[40] is emphasized in the Quran. God Almighty instructs believers who are financially able that if a needy relative commits a sin or wrongful act, it should not prevent them from giving charity or support. Rather, by overlooking their faults, their needs should continue to be met.
Preventing Causes of Resentment
One of the duties of believers regarding relatives is to strive to preserve love and prevent causes of enmity and resentment among them. The Quran instructs that if second- or third-degree relatives are present at the inheritance distribution, give them a share and speak kindly and appropriately to these deprived relatives.[41]
This behavior prevents stirring jealousy or resentment in those deprived of inheritance and protects the bond of kinship. The Quran emphasizes that beyond material help, one should also use moral and ethical means to gain their affection, leaving no trace of discontent in their hearts.[42]
Striving to Warn Relatives
It is among the rights of relatives that believers think about their future and warn them of the Hereafter and God’s wrath.[43] God Almighty has also stated that believers are obliged to protect themselves and their families from the fire whose fuel is people and stones.[44]
The wording of the verse indicates that believers should warn relatives of the severity of punishment: “Over that fire are appointed stern and severe angels who do not disobey what God commands them and always carry out what they are tasked with”.[45]
Seeking Forgiveness for Relatives
In Islamic culture, praying for relatives, which includes seeking forgiveness on their behalf, is emphasized. The Quran indicates that naturally, everyone desires forgiveness for their relatives; however, God has restricted this request and commanded the Prophet (PBUHH) and the believers not to seek forgiveness for polytheist relatives.[46]
This emphasizes that familial affection entails mercy and seeking forgiveness for relatives. The reason for the revelation of this verse explains that Muslims asked the Prophet (PBUHH) if it was permissible to seek forgiveness for their fathers who lived in the pre-Islamic era. In response, the verse prohibited it.[47] This also shows that the inclination to seek forgiveness for close relatives is natural, and every person feels a moral bond toward them.
Visiting the Sick
In Islamic culture, visiting the sick is highly recommended. When the sick person is a relative, the importance of this visit is greater due to the significance of the relationship. Imam Ali (PBUHH) said: “Visit the sick among your relatives”.[48]
Patience in the Face of Folly
Sometimes relatives’ behavior may cause harm or create problems. In such cases, the Islamic lifestyle recommends patience and wise counsel. Imam Ali (AS) urged everyone to remain patient in the face of the foolish or reckless behavior of relatives.[49]
The conduct of Imam Sadiq (AS) toward the difficulties caused by the children and grandchildren of Imam Hasan (AS) serves as a clear example for others.
Conclusion
Islamic teachings place great emphasis on proper behavior toward relatives. Reviewing the Qur’anic verses and narrations shows that relatives have rights over each other in both material and spiritual aspects.
Material rights include helping to relieve financial hardship, leniency in demanding repayment, providing food for needy orphaned relatives, and giving priority in inheritance. Spiritual rights include greeting relatives, showing love and kindness, forgiveness, preventing causes of resentment, seeking forgiveness for them, and visiting the sick.
Notes
[1] . Al-Rum:38.
[2] . Al-Anfal:75.
[3] . Al-Baqarah:177.
[4] . Al-Nisa:8.
[5] . Al-Nisa:8.
[6] . Al-Nahl:90.
[7] . Al-Isra:26.
[8] . Al-Rum:38.
[9] . Tabatabai, Muhammad Hussain, Al-Mizan, vol.15, p.94; Makarem Shirazi, Naser et al.; Tafsir Nemuneh, vol.14, p.414.
[10] . Al-Anfal:41.
[11] . Al-Hashr:7.
[12] . Tabarsi, Fazl ibn Hasan, Majma al-Bayan, vol.4, p.835 & vol.9, p.391.
[13] . Al-Ahzab:6.
[14] . Tabatabai, Muhammad Hussain, Al-Mizan, vol.9, p.142 & vol.16, p.277.
[15] . Al-Baqarah:177.
[16] . Tabatabai, Muhammad Hussain,Al-Mizan, vol.20, p.293.
[17] . Al-Balad:14–15.
[18] . Al-Rad:21.
[19] . Bahrani, Sayyid Hashim, Al-Burhan fi Tafsir al-Quran, vol.3, p.247.
[20] . Harani, Ibn Shubah, Tuhaf al-Uqul an Ahl al-Rasul, p.88.
[21] . Amidi, Abdulwahid, Gharar al-Hikam wa Durar al-Kalim, p. 407, Hadith 9330.
[22] . Al-Rad:21.
[23] . Al-Baqarah:27.
[24] . Al-Rad:25.
[25] . Bahrani, Sayyid Hashim, Al-Burhan fi Tafsir al-Quran, vol.3, pp. 245–247, narrations 3–13.
[26] . Harani, Ibn Shubah, Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.57.
[27] . Majlisi, Muhammad Baqir, Bihar al-Anwar, vol.71, p.97, chapter on Maintaining Kinship, Hadith 30.
[28] . Ibid, vol.75, p.58, Hadith 128.
[29] . Harani, Ibn Shubah, Tuhaf al-Uqul, p. 57.
[30] . Al-Nur:61.
[31] . Arousi Hawwizi, Abdul Ali ibn Jumaah, Tafsir Nur al-Thaqalayn, vol.3, p.627, Hadith 258; Arousi Hawwizi, Abdul Ali ibn Jumaah, Tafsir Nur al-Thaqalayn, vol.3, p.627, Hadith 258, p.259.
[32] . Majlisi, Muhammad Baqir, Bihar al-Anwar, vol.71, p.104.
[33] . Al-Nisa:36.
[34] . Al-Baqarah:83; Al-Baqarah:177; Al-Nisa:36; Al-Nahl:90.
[35] . Al-Baqarah:83.
[36] . Al-Tawbah:23–24.
[37] . Al-Isra:26–28.
[38] . Al-Nisa:140.
[39] . Al-Tawbah:24.
[40] . Al-Nur:22.
[41] . Al-Nisa:8.
[42] . Makarem Shirazi, Naser, et al.; Tafsir Nemuneh, vol.3, p.277.
[43] . Al-Shuara:214.
[44] . Al-Tahrim:6.
[45] . Al-Tahrim:6.
[46] . Al-Tawbah:113.
[47] . Sabzevari Najafi, Muhammad ibn Habib Allah, Al-Jadid fi Tafsir al-Quran, vol.3, p.386.
[48] . Harani, Ibn Shubah, Tuhaf al-Uqul, p.87.
[49] . Amidi, Abdulwahid, Gharar al-Hikam wa Durar al-Kalim, p.407, Hadith 9330.
References
- The Holy Quran.
- Amidi, Abdulwahid; Gharar al-Hikam wa Durar al-Kalim; 1st edition, Qom: Daftar-e Tablighat, 1366 SH.
- Arousi Hawwizi, Abdul Ali ibn Jumaah; Tafsir Nur al-Thaqalayn; edited by Rasuli Mahallati; 4th edition, Qom: Ismailian Institute, 1412 AH.
- Bahrani, Sayyid Hashim; Al-Burhan fi Tafsir al-Quran; edited by Bathah Institute; 1st edition, Tehran: Bonyad-e Bathah, 1416 AH.
- Harani, Ibn Shubah; Tuhaf al-Uqul; edited by Ali Akbar Ghafari; Qom: Islamic Publishing Institute, 1363 SH.
- Majlisi, Muhammad Baqir; Bihar al-Anwar al-Jamia li Durar Akhbar al-Aimma al-Athar (AS); Beirut: Dar Ihya al-Turath al-Arabi, 1403 AH.
- Makarem Shirazi, Naser and colleagues; Tafsir Nemuneh; Tehran: Dar al-Kitab al-Islamiyyah, 1374 SH.
- Sabzevari Najafi, Muhammad ibn Habib Allah; Al-Jadid fi Tafsir al-Quran; Beirut: Dar al-Taaruf, 1406 AH.
- Tabarsi, Fazl ibn Hasan; Majma al-Bayan fi Tafsir al-Quran; 3rd edition, Tehran: Nasir Khosrow Publications, 1372 SH.
- Tabatabai, Sayyid Muhammad Husayn; Tafsir al-Mizan; 3rd edition, Qom: Islamic Publications Office, affiliated with the Society of Teachers, 1417 AH.
Source of the article | Adapted from: MirArab, Farajollah, Behavior with Relatives According to the Teachings of the Quran and the Ahl al-Bayt (AS); Research Institute for Islamic Sciences and Culture, pp. 43–66.
