In a matrimonial relationship, both the husband and the wife have certain rights from his/her partner. In Islam, the husbands, by virtue of their obligation and guardianship over their wives enjoy some certain rights. Thus, we shall look at the rights of husband over his wife in this article.
1. Obedience to Husbands
It is expected of a wife to favourably respond to the husband’s acceptable desires, and avoid any matter that harms him, such as leaving the house without his consent, spending his wealth wastefully, neglecting the domestic duties, and the likes.
Imam Baqir (PBUH) narrated that the Prophet (PBUHH) answered the woman who asked him about the husbands’ rights over their wives, saying:
Women should obey and avoid defying their husbands
Therefore, the wives should not give alms out of the husbands’ wealth without their permission, avoid observing supererogatory fasting without their consent. Likewise, they should also respond to their sexual need whenever it is needed.
A woman asked the noble Prophet,: O Messenger of God, who is having the greatest right on man? The Prophet (PBUHH) answered: His father. She then asked: Who is having the greatest right on woman? The Prophet (PBUHH) answered: Her husband.
Imam Sadiq (PBUH) narrated that a woman, whose husband had ordered her not to leave her house until he comes back from his journey, sent a messenger to the Prophet (PBUHH) to ask him for a permission to visit her diseased father. The Prophet ordered her to remain in the house until her husband returns. As her father became intensely ill, she sent a messenger to the Prophet (PBUHH) again asking for permission to visit him. The Prophet (PBUHH) told her to remain in her house and obey her husband.
When her father died, she sent a messenger to the Prophet (PBUHH) asking for permission to attend his funeral ceremony. The Prophet (PBUHH) told her to remain in her house and obey her husband. When her father was buried, the Prophet (PBUHH) sent a messenger to tell her that Allah has forgiven her and her father for her obedience to her husband.
2. Compliance with Husbands
Wives are recommended to encompass their husbands with nice sociability, pleasant attention, and kind compliance by means of observing their affairs, securing means of their physical and mental tranquility, and caring for the family members.
By doing so, the wives will certainly be dear and loved by the husbands. Besides, the wives will become an exemplary model and the sources of high moral standards to the children as well.
The most significant form of the wives’ compliance with their husbands is to avoid exhausting them by expensive charges that injure their economical capacities. This causes confusion to the husbands who, subsequently, begin to have an aversion to their wives. Imam Kadhim (PBUH) said: Jihad of women is their compliance with their husbands.
The wives good behavior and compliance with their husbands raise their spirits and supply them with huge physical and mental energies. The wives quarrelsomeness and disobedience, on the other hand, enfeeble the husbands entities and bring to them senility earlier.
Let us now listen to the following words of a wise Bedouin mother who provides some instructions to her daughter on her wedding night: Daughter, you will very soon leave the house in which you came to this world and the nest in which you grew up to join a nest that you have not known yet, and a companion with whom you have not familiarized yourself yet. Thus, you should behave as his bondmaid, so that he will behave as your slave. Observe for him the following ten points:
- The first and second are that you should live with him with satisfaction and associate with him with obedience.
- The third and fourth are that you should observe the places where his eye and nose notice. Hence, he should not see anything ugly and should not smell anything bad from you.
- The fifth and sixth are that you should observe the times of his sleep and food. Continuous feelings of hunger arouse fiery and continuous disturbance of sleep arouses rage.
- The seventh and eighth are that you should observe his wealth and respect his family. To observe his wealth is to opt for moderation, and to respect his family can be achieved through good management.
- The ninth and tenth are that you should avoid disobeying his orders and divulging his secrets. You will certainly arouse his malice against you if you disobey him, and you will certainly expose yourself to his unexpected punishment if you divulge his secrets.
Beware of showing happiness before him when he is sad or showing depression when he is happy, because the earlier is a sign of negligence and the latter is a sign of annoyance. Glorify him more than anyone else does, so that he will honor you more than anyone else. You must know that you cannot obtain that which you like before you prefer his satisfaction to yours and prefer his desires to yours in any matter. Finally, God may choose for you the good.
3. Honoring of Husbands
The most important obligation that is imposed upon a wife is to protect her husband’s honor and reputation and exert all efforts for avoiding any matter that deforms them, such as profligacy, garishness, or divulgement of secrets, especially matters that husbands try to conceal.
