The Necessary Tips Toward an Ideal Home

2021-06-24

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Contents

An ideal home is a family where there is love, trust, mutual respect and cooperation between the members. It is a family where all the members exist peacefully and in perfect harmony and work collectively towards the physical and spiritual growth of each of the members.

In this article, we shall examine some of the important tips for achieving an ideal home from an Islamic perspective.

The sincerity of Intentions

Marriage produces numerous benefits including the loving-kindness of a wife and a husband; relief from loneliness; an increase in one’s daily sustenance; the happiness of two families; maintaining half of one’s religion; attaining God’s satisfaction; sexual pleasure; having children in one’s life and finding support in life, etc.

In addition to all these benefits, if one marries for the sake of God and with the best of intentions, then due to his good intentions he has engaged in a great act of worship.

The Prophet (Pbuh) said: Whoever marries and visits his relatives for the sake of God, God shall attend to him by placing a crown like that of the angels on his head. (1)

And,

Whoever marries to please Allah and establish a family, God will adorn his head with the crown of angels.

Marriage will make him equal in worth to angels and a crown like that of the angels will adorn his head. From the very beginning, let’s base the foundation of marriage and the establishment of a new life upon sincerity.

Our men and women must give their total attention to this matter so that both the worldly and spiritual aspects of their lives will enjoy the attention, mercy and acceptance of Allah. Imam Ali (Pbuh) has been narrated to have said that none of our acts is of a higher value except the ones accepted by God.

The Peak of Sincere Intention

Considering this matter, pay special attention to this very amazing story told by the Prophet Moses (Pbuh). One day Moses (Pbuh) watered the Prophet Jethro’s flocks of sheep and then in return Jethro (Pbuh) invited him to come home with him.

Moses entered that great Prophet’s house where the table was already spread for dinner. Jethro requested the young man to sit down for dinner. Moses insisted on not eating the food but Jethro asked him whether he was hungry.

Moses replied that he was hungry, but he was afraid that the dinner before him was in compensation for his previous good deed. He said, “We are of a family who will not even exchange a bit of our good deeds for the Hereafter, even an earth full of pure gold.”

Jethro said: “O, young man! I swear to God that this was not what I had in mind when inviting you to dinner. I didn’t intend to recompense your divine deed with food from my table. It is my father’s and my custom to entertain guests and serve them food. After this discussion, Moses sat down at the table to eat. (2)

Really, it is very astonishing that Moses had left Egypt some time ago and been wandering around in the wilderness, but during that time, he was not able to find any suitable food. He had eaten the sweet plants of the desert and upon entering Jethro’s house, he saw a prepared and pleasant table of food.

Even though he was terribly hungry, he decided not to eat the food because he thought that his deed (watering the sheep) was done only for God’s sake and it might possibly be lessened in the sight of Allah by eating the food.

However, when Jethro insured Moses that he also intended to please God and had sincere intentions in entertaining his guest, then Moses sat down to eat. Jethro’s sincerity was the reason why Moses became Jethro’s shepherd for the next eight years. And Moses’ sincerity was the reason why the Prophet Jethro (Pbuh) became Moses’s father-in-law.

The Material Issues of the Family

The Qur’an says:

O ye people! Eat of what is on earth, lawful and good; and do not follow the footsteps of the Evil One, for he is to you an avowed enemy. (3)

The Virtues and Vices of Wealth

A man’s need for property and wealth to manage his life’s affairs, especially with the burdensome responsibility of managing a family, is a completely natural need.

Wealth and property, business and commerce are not in any way connected with virtue or vice when they are not related to man. For example, iron is a type of property and may be moulded into many shapes. Many tools are made from it, but until man gains control over it, it is simply a material having no benefits and no evilness.

Iron is beneficial when managed by a polite, dignified and noble believer. When iron falls into the hands of a rude, forgetful, lustful rogue, it becomes an evil material.

When Ibn Muljam had a sword, he could kill the Imam of the Lovers- Imam Ali (Pbuh) in the mosque. Thus, he became the worst of all people and this can be traced back to his bad spirit.

When Imam Ali (Pbuh) had a sword he established and spread justice: the reward of one stroke of the sword in the battle of the trench (Battle of Khandag) -as declared by the Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh)- is superior to all the worships of the jinns and human beings.

For those adorned with divine etiquette and the lovers of God, money and commercial goods act as a take-off platform toward Heaven and a means for acquiring His Mercy and Blessings and attaining an eternal and great reward. Truly, wealth is the commerce for heavenly trade for believers who are noble, kind, generous, compassionate and have divine ethics.

For such people, wealth serves as a vehicle driving them towards God’s eternal blessings. In addition, it is a means to obtain the good of this world and the Hereafter. That is why God has called the property of one who has died “his good leftovers” in the blessed chapter of the Qur’an entitled Baqarah.

God considers the wealth and property of a believer to be a manifestation of the belief of that believer, his nobility, generosity, mercy and passion. One-third might be spent in a good way according to his will and the remaining two-thirds are to be distributed amongst his inheritors according to the Quranic verses.

Imam Sadiq (Pbuh) has said the following in interpretation of a verse in the Quranic chapter Baqara.

“Our Lord! Give us good in this world and good in the Hereafter…”(4) The good in the Hereafter is God’s Pleasure and Heaven, and the good in this life is a good temper and bountiful daily bread.(5)

Thus, we can conclude that the believer’s wealth and property are similar to a factory in which God’s pleasure and a musk-scented Heaven are produced. Believers earn their income through legitimate business transactions, abiding by the law and avoiding unlawful transactions.

In short, they earn money through continuous lawful transactions and by obeying God. They spend their income on the expenses of their household, paying the alms tax and the one-fifth levy. They spend the rest to help the deprived, the oppressed, and the weak and to aid relatives and friends.

Spending legitimately earned income in these ways is natural and lawful and is in fact considered to be worship and obedience: Or as the Holy Qur’an has said – It is the good of this world and the Hereafter. It is for this reason that wealth and property have been interpreted to be good and blessed in Allah’s Book.

Earning and spending it is considered to be worship for the believers and a cause of great reward and infinite divine gifts. It is interesting to hear the viewpoint of the Commander of the Faithful (Imam Ali) about wealth in the hands of irreligious, lustful people: Property is the material of lust, is subject to catastrophes, strengthens aspirations and entertains the inheritors. Wealth will raise the status of the owner in this world and lower it in the Hereafter. (6)

The Prophet (Pbuh) said:

Gold and silver destroyed those before you and will destroy you, too. (7)

He also said:

For each nation, there is a calf and for this nation, the calf is silver and gold. (8) (the calf refers to the golden calf idol made by the Israelites).

Truly, wealth enslaves those of weak faith with illegitimate lusts and excitement of their aspirations. They become lowly in this world and in the Hereafter, and as the Prophet of Islam (Pbuh) has commented: “People began to worship the calf in the form of the worship of wealth.”

The Forbidden and the Unforbidden Wealth

Undoubtedly, whatever a person earns from working and from his business affairs is lawful. Concerning lawful earnings, God has issued many orders and the Prophet’s Household has completely described the religiously legal ways to earn money. Any money gained in illegal ways such as bribery, usurpation, theft, deceit, looting and usury is illegal.

Whoever tries to make lawful money is worshipping God and God will reward him. Whoever tries to illegally make money is sinning and God will punish and curse him. If one makes money illegally and does not listen to anybody’s advice saying God has desired so, then he has insulted God, speaks satanically and has lied.

There are many Quranic verses stating God has provided lawful daily bread for everyone. The Quran invites everyone to make a lawful daily living and has given no illegal earnings to anyone since thinking in the wrong way causes one to make illegal money.

Saying that God allows forbidden actions is an insult and a great sin which will cause one to be punished on the Day of Judgment. Man’s intellect dictates that it is illogical to say God gives illegal provisions to man, but rather He has placed emphasis on benefiting from lawful and completely legally earned money.

It is paradoxical for God to give illegal earnings to man and there are no paradoxes concerning God. Stupid people foolishly and ignorantly insult God.

Imam Baqir (Pbuh) has stated:

God has ordered all men to make a lawful living. This money will cause the man to be healthy.

It is not God’s fault that some make an illegal living: The forbidden way to earn a living is not the right way. Satan is the designer of the forbidden ways to make money. If one illegally makes money, his lawful daily bread will be lessened to the same extent. If we consider lawful and legal means of earning money, God respects us a lot. (9)

Don’t Deprive Yourself of the Lawful Things

Imam Ali (Pbuh) entered the mosque and told a man to keep an eye on his camel. The man stole the camel’s bit in Imam Ali’s (Pbuh) absence.

When Imam Ali (Pbuh) came out of the mosque to pay the man two Dirham, he saw his camel without the bit. He gave the money to his servant and asked him to go and buy a bit. The servant went and bought the same bit from the thief without knowing who he was and took it to the Imam (Pbuh).

When he saw the bit, the Imam said that a servant deprives himself of lawful daily bread due to his impatience, but he does not get more than is determined for him by God. (10)

Provide Your Family’s Needs Through Lawful Means

There is a sequence of outward and inward effects of using lawfully or unlawfully obtained property, and no one can avoid them. Lawful goods result in the pleasure of God, spirituality, energy to worship, pacification of the heart and the curing of illnesses. However, the opposite holds true for unlawful goods.

The necessity of providing for the family by the man of the house is one of the most important issues in Islamic jurisprudence and is extensively discussed in the Holy Qur’an and traditions of the Prophet’s Household.

As much as possible, a man is religiously bound to provide housing, food, clothing and transportation for his wife and children. In addition to this, the man is required to obtain his family’s expenses through lawful means. The man of the house should whole-heartedly thank God for these two requirements.

By attending to the needs of the family, moral realities will blossom. By working to obtain lawful income which is similar to a Holy War (Jihad) in God’s way, man can get a lot of divine rewards. The heavenly and positive effects of using lawfully obtained goods will appear in the family, and this will substantially aid the mental and spiritual peace and security of the family.

The Lawfully Obtained Food

Consider the following tradition. A man came to the Prophet (Pbuh) with a bowl of milk and asked him to break his fast with the milk. The Prophet (Pbuh) asked him who had sent the milk. The man said, it was a gift from a woman and the Prophet (Pbuh) told him to return with the milk and ask her where she had got it from.

So, the man went to the woman’s house to ask her. The woman said she had obtained it from her own sheep. The man returned to the Prophet (Pbuh ) to tell him. He was told to return and ask her where she had got the sheep from. He returned to ask her and she replied she had bought the sheep through hard work. The man returned to the Prophet (Pbuh ) and explained.

Then the Prophet (Pbuh ) said he would break his fast with the milk. The following day, the owner of the milk came to him and asked the reason for returning the milk several times. He said God the Almighty had ordered the Prophets to eat only lawfully obtained food.

This must be a lesson for all Muslims to pay much attention to the issue of what is lawful and unlawful so that they do not pick up a burden which is either too difficult or impossible to bear.

The Prophet (Pbuh) said:

Seeking the lawful is obligatory for each Muslim, man and woman. (11)

And,

Seeking the lawful is a form of Jihad (Holy War). (12)

Imam Reza (Pbuh) said: The reward of one who seeks his daily bread from God’s Grace to provide for his family’s needs is greater than that of the one who fights in God’s way. (13)

Imam Baqir (Pbuh) said: Whoever seeks worldly goods to protect his family and to be kind to his neighbours will meet God in Heaven with his face shining like a full moon. (14)

In the traditions, it is stated the increase or decrease in one’s daily bread is simply a test for God’s servants to obtain a holy rank from God. The woman who is patient in the face of a shortage of her daily bread does not commit any sins to obtain more, and is grateful for the increase of her daily bread has successfully passed the test.

A believer does not become lowly in the face of a shortage of his daily bread and does not get drunk when his daily bread increases. He is content with the low amount of his daily bread; and when his daily bread increases, he eats, feeds others and rushes to pay the necessary dues.

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