Rights of Parents and Children in Islam

2021-06-24

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Contents

The works that a man must perform for someone who is the beneficiary are called rights (i.e., huquq ) and the works that a person must perform are called duties, orders, and obligations. For instance, it is the duty of an employer to pay the wages of his employee and it is the right of the employee to receive it after performing a task for him. If the employer does not pay the wages, the employee can demand it and defend his right.

The duty of a Child toward His Parents

Parents are the means of the creation of a child and the importers of his initial education and training; therefore, the holy religion of Islam has placed a great deal of emphasis on children’s obedience to them and their respect, to such an extent that the Almighty Allah has commanded the children to be kind and generous to their parents, right after mentioning the Oneness of Allah:

Your Lord has decreed that you shall not worship anyone except Him, and [He has enjoined] kindness to parents…. (1)

Similarly, in authentic traditions enumerating great sins, misconduct towards parents is considered among the sins whose punishment is hastened by God: The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his family) has stated:

“There are three sins, the punishments of which are hastened and not deferred for the hereafter: disownment by one’s parents, committing oppression upon the people, and ingratitude with respect to kindness.” (2)

The Commander of the Faithful, Ali ibn Abi-Talib (peace be upon him) has also said:

“Goodness towards (one’s) parents is the greatest obligatory act.” (3)

In the explanation of Imam as-Sadiq (peace be upon him), kindness to parents is considered among the best good deeds. He said:

“The best deeds are: Salat in its stipulated hour, goodness towards parents and Jihad in the way of Allah.” (4)

In Islam, child’s obedience to the parents is obligatory except in the cases when they enjoin him to abandon one of the obligatory acts do forbidden acts (such as associating a partner with God). The Qur’an says:

But if they urge you to ascribe to Me as partner that of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them… (5)

However, kindness and respect to them even in such situations remains obligatory on the child. In continuation of the above-quoted verse, Allah says:

Keep their company honourably in this world and follow the way of those who turn to Me penitently. Then to Me will be your return, whereat I will inform you concerning what you used to do. (5)

Meanwhile, it has been proven by experience that those who tease their parents do not remain happy and prosperous in their lives and consequently they will not attain salvation.

The Rights of Parents

In a family circle, the relationship of parents to their children is like that of the roots of a tree to its branches because the continuity and survival of the branches of the tree depend upon its roots. Parents are also the founders of the children’s life. Since the human society is comprised of the two categories, i.e., parents and children, parents are the main roots of the human society.

Besides, an act of ingratitude or disrespect towards the parents is also a cause of decadence of humanity and the annihilation of the society. This is because, the disrespect of children towards their parents will be reflected by the parents in the form of unkindness and disfavor towards them. And if the children look towards their parents with disrespect and lowliness, they cannot expect anything better from their own children and will not depend upon the help of their children when they reach the age of debility and infirmity. Thus, they naturally become disappointed to form a family, as is the case with many of the young people of the present age.

Generalization of this kind of thinking will definitely obstruct the path of regeneration and reproduction, because a wise man will never devote his valuable life to nurture a young tree from whose fruits he will not benefit, under whose shadow he will not sit, and that looking towards it will render him no benefit but grief and anguish.

We might assume that the governments can encourage the people to set up families by giving them various rewards and incentives and thus eliminate the problems of regeneration and reproduction; but it should be noted that the social methods and customs that are devoid of natural backing (like parent-children affection) cannot last. Besides this fact, not benefiting from one of the natural instincts will inevitably deprive man of a series of pure spiritual pleasures.

The Rights of Children on Parents

Since man is created in such a manner that his life is not everlasting in this world, and because willingly or not, he dies after some time, Allah has established the method of reproduction, has provided people with the means of reproduction, and has directed man’s inner feelings towards it in order to safeguard the mankind from total annihilation.

It is because of this overall mobilization that man naturally considers his child to be an inherent part of himself and assumes his child’s survival to be that of his own. For this very reason, man goes through all kinds of endeavors and makes efforts for the comfort and happiness of his children and endures various hardships, for he considers the annihilation of his child or his child’s personality to be his own annihilation or the annihilation of his own personality.

Indeed, man obeys the order of the world of creation, which demands the survival of mankind. Thus it is the duty of parents to implement the order enjoined by conscience and religious laws with regard to their children and to bring them up very well, so that they may grow into decent human beings.

Parents are also duty bound to consider rightful for their children those things that they consider rightful for themselves from the viewpoint of humanity. Some of the duties of parents are as given below:

(1) Parents must establish and make firm the foundation of praiseworthy ethics and decent attributes in the natures of their children from the very first day that they begin to understand words and signs. They must not frighten their children with superstitious subjects as much as they can. They must prevent them from committing evil and unchaste acts.

The parents, too, must avoid lying, ill-speaking, and using bad language and obscene words in front of the children. The parents should perform decent deeds, so that the children might be brought up as chaste and magnanimous people. Parents must Endeavor and show motivation and justice, so as to transfer to their children the love for justice and humanity through the law of “the transfer of ethics” in order to keep their children away from oppression, meanness, and selfishness.

(2) Parents should patronize their children for their eating, sleeping, and other requirements for living until they attain the age of discernment. They must have consideration for the physical health of their children so that they may have a healthy body and a strong mind and temper ready to be educated and trained.

(3) Parents should put their children under the care of a teacher from the time they get aptitude for education (usually from seventh year of their age). Parents should make every effort to place their children. They should be under the care of a decent teacher, so that they may get good and desirable impressions from what they hear and so that such a teacher would become the source of inspiration and cause the refinement of their spirit, the purification of their soul, and the cultivation of their ethics.

(4) Parents should take their children along with them to gatherings in order to familiarize them with social customs and praiseworthy etiquette when their age calls for participation in social gatherings or family visits.