According to Islam, the provision of the financial expenses of the family, including those of the spouse and the children, is an obligatory duty of the husband. A man must provide for all his partner’s obligatory expenses, even if she is wealthier than him.
The necessity of providing for the family expenses is one of the certain commandments of Islam. It is indeed the right of a wife. And if the husband fails to pay it, it remains a debt upon him and which must be paid on demand. In addition, if he refuses out-rightly to pay it, it is the duty of an Islamic religious magistrate to force him to do so or divorce them at the wife’s request.
Imam Muhammad Baqir (a.s) was reported to have said:
من کانت عنده امرأة فلم یکسها ما یواري عورتها، و یطعمها ما یقیم صلبها کان حقّاً علی الإمام أن یفرّق بینهما
[Regarding] he who has a wife but does not provide her adequate clothing and food, it is the duty of an Imam to separate them.(1)
Also:
Ishaq ibn ‘Ammar asked Imam Sadiq (a.s) thus:
ما حق المرأة علی زوجها الذی إذا فعله کان محسناً؟ قال: یشبعها، و یکسوها، و إن جهلت غفر لها
What rights does a wife have upon her husband, which if he fulfills them, he will be considered a virtuous person in this respect?’ He (a.s) replied, ‘He must provide her food and clothes and forgive her indiscretions. (2)
Family expenses include all required needs of the family, with regard to the available resources and conventions of the time, place, and social level of the family. Meanwhile, some of these needs are enumerated below:
1. Food, fruit, and other such needs according to standard requirement
2. Seasonal clothing according to the needs and social level of the family
3. Carpeting and beds
4. Cooking, eating, and drinking utensils
5. Cooling and heating appliances
6. Living quarters that provides comfort for the family and is in accordance with the social standard of the family
7. Personal care and medical expenses
8. Hygienic and cosmetic products
Criticism 1
The issue of family expenses have been criticized by some thus: Legislation of this commandment has dishonored women and through it, they are considered stipendiary servants who are given food, board, and clothing for their round the clock exertions and onerous housework.
Response 1
In response to this, it must be argued that this criticism is derived from the enmity or benightedness of the critic because, according to Islam, housework is not an obligatory duty of a wife. Even regarding fostering, tending, and nursing children, no responsibility has been placed upon a wife.
That is to say, she can choose to do nothing and ask for a servant or she can ask for wages for performing housework and fostering and nursing her children, even if her financial expenses have been placed upon her husband. According to this, how can one say that women are dishonoured and have been considered stipendiary servants?
Meanwhile, it is worthy of note that even though housework and house management is not the duty of women according to the law of Islam, but it is considered morally crucial and essential for familial affection and intimacy. Besides, this is referred in Hadith as حُسن التّبعُّل (i.e. taking good care of one’s husband).
A mistress of the house who is interested in the endurance and warmth of the family endeavours as far as she is able to foster and edify her children and efficiently manage her home; albeit in willingness and relish and not due to legal compulsion and coercion. The wives of the noble Prophet of Islam, his surviving daughter Zahra (a.s), and the wives of the Immaculate Imams and Saints of of God engaged themselves in housework and house management.
Criticism 2
Even though men and women need each other to satisfy their ardor, have children, and raise them, why are all of the family expenses, even the wife’s personal expenditures a husband’s responsibility?
Why should husbands work and toil while wives eat and sleep and do not even do housework? Is this not unfair to husbands? Why should women be their husbands’ dependants so they are forced to obey them and tolerate their bullying and restrictions? Is it not better for both women and men to work and jointly pay for the family expenses?
Response 2
Several points must be expounded in order to refute this criticism:
1. Nature and genesis has placed heavy burdens of responsibility upon women, who are compelled to carry them out; such as pregnancy, giving birth, nursing their babies, nurturing, fostering, and training and edifying their young. These demanding responsibilities require great time and effort to be performed well, and are not compatible with working extensively outside one’s home.
2. Women have monthly cycles and require rest during these periods.
3. Housework and child care are not women’s duties either canonically or legally. However, according to ethics and mores, they cannot eschew these desiderata because they are considered essential to familial life and greatly affect the beauty and repose of the home and hearten husbands.
4. Women are delicate, elegant, and beautiful beings and these are their most important instruments of attraction and charm for their husbands. Working in difficult and tiresome jobs outside their homes harms the elegance and loveliness of women, which in turn decreases their attractiveness for their husbands; this is neither to women’s nor men’s benefit.
Thus, if both men and women work to pay for living expenses, the women will have to compete with men and therefore might be required to accept arduous jobs, such as laboring in mines, ironwork, and automobile, petrochemical, and cement industries, civil engineering, railroads, trucking, and grueling graveyard shift jobs. If women and men were equally obligated to work and provide living expenses, naturally, such problems could arise.
Accordingly, it is clear that women cannot be forced to work like men in order to pay for expenses. Thus, Islam has made men accountable for the family livelihood, so that women may fulfill their genetic duties at their own leisure and with ease of mind, endeavor in fostering and edifying their children, preserve their cheeriness and attraction, maintain their place in their spouse’s hearts, and make their home a place of love and tranquility.
Hence, with love of the wife and children, peace of mind, and gratified with their lives, men endeavor more diligently to provide for the family expenses and bestow it upon their partners with willingness and genuine sincerity.
In consequence, pragmatically, with true regard to the interests of men, women, and their children, and to fortify the cornerstones of married life, Islam has given men the duty of providing for the family expenses and has not irrationally sided with one party and imposed on the other.
It is in the interests of both the husbands and the wives that the family expenses be the responsibility of the husband while the women be the dependants to them. This is because men are attracted to and fond of women, they desire to spend for them, and not only are they without resent, they are completely satisfied and feel good about themselves when they behave in this way. On the other hands, the financial dependence of women is not a drawback and it does not make them stipendiary servants; rather, it strengthens the backbone of marriage.
Basically, in familial life, a man’s earnings belong to the family, they are utilized for acquiring necessities; therefore, financial independence or the lack thereof is not an issue. Here, it must be pointed out that the aim of Islam in making men responsible for family expenses is not to thwart employment of women, make them consumers and ‘stay-at-homers’, and obstruct them from having jobs and responsibilities outside their homes.
Instead, Islam intends that women not be forced to work and provide living expenses; however, with regard to her abilities, preferences, and facilities, and the mutual agreement of their spouses, a wife can choose an acceptable job and perform her responsibilities outside her home, and thus have an independent income.
Naturally, the income of the wife belongs absolutely to her and she need not use it for family expenditures. A virtuous woman would, however, with purity of heart, like her husband, prefers to donate it to the family; so that it would have a part in managing and improving familial life and increase serenity and love within the entire family.
NOTES:
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1. Wasail us-Shiah, p. 509.
2. Ibid, p. 510.
