One of the really Important issues on the subject of parenting which is often forgotten is the Children’s Rights on Parents. Most Parents don’t know what rights they should care for their children including naming them, Saying Adhan in the ears and etc.
It is also essential to mention that the rights are considered by Almighty Allah and the Fourteen Infallibles. So, it is important for parents to know and care. The article aims to present the dear parents and other readers what rights their children have their parents and what duties the parents have to their children. Social commandments begin with the birth of a child hence we begin with the Prophets (PBUH&HP) sayings regarding birth and duties of parents to the newborn child.
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Saying of Adhan (in the ears of a new-born child)
The Prophet (PBUH&HP) Companion, Abu-Rafey narrates that: I saw the Prophet (PBUH&HP) saying adhan and Salawat in the ear of his grandson, Imam Hassan (PBUH) when the child was born to his daughter, Hazrat Fatima (PBUH).
Commentary: in the above Hadith (tradition) only the saying of Adhan has been mentioned, but in another tradition reported by Imam Hussain (PBUH), the Prophet (PBUH&HP) prescribed the saying of adhan in the right ear and Iqamah in the left ear of the new-born child, and also mentioned its auspiciousness. He said that on account of it, the child remained safe from infantile epilepsy.
As these traditions show, the primary claim of a child on his parents is that his ears, and through his ears, his head and heart are made aquatinted with the name of the Almighty Almighty Allah and His Oneness and with the Call of Faith and Prayer. The best way to it, evidently is that adhan and Iqamah are said in his ears, as these impart the knowledge of spirit and the fundamental practices of Islam in the most effective manner.
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Naming a Child
That the child be given a good name is also an obligation of the parents. Abdullah ibn Abbas relates that the Prophet (PBUH&HP) said: It is also a claim of the child on his father that he gives him a good name and teaches him good manners.
In another tradition, the Prophet (PBUH&HP) said: On the Day of Resurrection, you will be called out by your name and the name of your father. The call will be; so and so, son of so-and-so, therefore, give your children good names.
From these sayings and the practices of the Prophet (PBUH&HP), we get the guidance that it is the responsibility of the parents to give names to their children or have them named by a pious person.
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Aqeeqah
In almost all the communities of the world, the birth of a child is considered a blessing and some ceremonies are held to celebrate the event. Besides being natural, it also serves a special purpose, and makes it known, in a suitable and dignified manner, that the father has accepted the child as his own and there is no doubt or suspicion in his mind concerning it. It shuts the door to many mischiefs that can arise in the future.
The practice of aqeeqah was observed among the Arabs, even during the Age of Ignorance for this very reason. The hair on the child’s head was shaved off and its weight equivalent was sacrificed as a mark of rejoicing – which was a characteristic feature of Millat-e-Ibrahim (the creed of Prophet Abraham).
While preserving the practice in principle, the Prophet (PBUH&HP) gave appropriate instructions, and he set an example of how it was to be done. It is reported by Buraidah that: During the Age of Ignorance when a child was born to any one of us, we used to slaughter a goat and colour the head of the child with its blood.
Later, after the dawn of Islam, our practice became (on the advice of the Prophet (PBUH&HP) that we sacrifice a goat of aqeeqah on the 7th day after the birth of a child, and shave the head of the infant, apply saffron on it.
Since, as we have seen, the aqeeqah served a useful purpose in many ways and was also in keeping with the spirit of Islam and, perhaps, like the rituals of Hajj, it was among the remaining practices of Prophet Abraham, our Prophet (PBUH&HP) preserved the reality of aqeeqah, but corrected the backward practices that had become associated with it.
The aqeeqah ceremony was also observed by the Jews, but they sacrificed an animal only in the case of a male child which was indicative of the lesser value placed on girls in pre-Islamic times.
The Prophet (PBUH&HP) corrected this too, and enjoined that the aqeeqah of girls should also be performed, like that of the boys.
However, keeping in mind the natural difference between the two sexes, the Prophet (PBUH&HP) laid down that while one goat was to be sacrificed in the aqeeqah of a female child, two goats should be sacrificed in the aqeeqah of a male child provided that one’s financial position permitted it. It is reported that the Prophet (PBUH&HP) said: To whomsoever, a child is born, and he wants to perform a sacrifice of aqeeqah on behalf of it, he should sacrifice two goats for a boy and one for a girl.
Commentary
As is evident in this tradition, aqeeqah is not obligatory, but it is among the mustahab or recommended acts, i.e., those acts which are recommended and rewardable but are not binding or compulsory. In the same way, it is not necessary to sacrifice two goats for a male child.
It is better to sacrifice two if one can afford it, otherwise one is enough. In some traditions, the giving away in the charity of silver equal in weight to the child’s shaved hair, or its price in cash, is also mentioned, in addition to the sacrifice of the animal. This too is, recommended act and not compulsory.
The command to perform the aqeeqah on the day of the birth has not been given, perhaps for the reason that at the time the family is occupied with the needs and comforts of the mother and the shaving of the hair (head) can also be harmful to the child.
Generally, after a week, the mother gets well and does not need special attention and the baby, too, becomes strong enough to go through the shaving of the hair.
In some other traditions, it is said that the child should also be named on the 7th day, together with aqeeqah, but from a few other traditions, it appears that the Prophet (PBUH&HP) had named children even on the day of their birth. There is, as such, no harm in naming the child before the 7th day, but if it has not been done, the child should be named on the 7th day together with the aqeeqah.
The aqeeqah ceremony, as we have seen consists of two acts: the shaving of the hair (head) and the sacrifice of the animal. There is a peculiar link between the two acts and these acts are among the religious practices of Prophet Abraham.
In Hajj too, they go together where the male pilgrims have their hair (head) shaved after the Adhiyah. Thus, aqeeqah also is a practical demonstration of our association with Prophet Abraham (PBUH) and of the fact that the child, too, is a member of the same community.
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Religious Upbringing
All the Prophets, and, lastly Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) have stressed that the brief earthly stay of a human being is an introduction to the everlasting life of eternity. It, therefore, follows that greater attention is paid to the betterment of prospects in the life to come and attainment of happiness in the Hereafter, than to the affairs and interests of this life.
Thus, the Holy Prophet (PBUH&HP) has enjoined upon the parents to take care of the religious instruction of their children from the very beginning, otherwise, they will be called to account for negligence on the Day of Judgment.
It is narrated by Ibn Abbas that the Prophet (PBUH&HP) said: Have your children utter, first of all, the Sacred Sentence of Laa-illaha-illa-Allah (i.e. let these be the first words that they speak), and emphasize upon them to utter the same Sacred Sentence at the time of their death.
Commentary: The child begins to receive the impression of what it sees or hears from the time of its birth. The saying of adhan and iqamah in the ears of a newly-born infant, also, gives a clear indication of it.
This tradition shows that when a child begins to speak, it should be taught to utter the Sacred Sentence, as the first step towards its education. It further tells that when the dying moment is near, a person should again be urged to pronounce the same Sacred Sentence.
Blessed indeed is the man who when he utters the first words, on coming into this world, it is the Sacred Sentence, and the same Sacred Sentence is on his lips when he departs. The Prophet (PBUH&HP) said: No father gives a better gift to his children than good manners and good character.
It is narrated by Anas that the Prophet (PBUH&HP) said: Show respect to your children and adorn them with good manners. Showing respect to one’s children denotes that they should be treated not as a burden, but as blessing and trust of Allah, and brought up with care and affection.
In another tradition, the Prophet (PBUH&HP) said: When your children attain the age of seven, insist upon them to offer salaat (Prayer) regularly, and when they are ten years old, punish them if they do not, and have separate beds for them (to sleep on).
Commentary
Children generally, develop the faculty of understanding at the age of seven, and it is time that their feet were set on the path of worship of Allah. They should, therefore, be told to offer Prayer regularly when they attain that age. At ten, their powers of discretion and intelligence are fairly advanced and they begin to approach maturity.
At that time, the observance of Prayer ought to be enjoined strictly upon them, and they should be taken to task, in an appropriate manner, if they fail to do so. They should further be required to sleep on separate beds and not together (which is permitted up to the age of ten). All these, in brief, are the rights of children, both boys and girls, on their parents, and the parents will have to render a full account in respect of them on the Day of Reckoning.
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Showing Kindness to Daughters
Even now, daughters are considered an unwanted burden in some societies and instead of rejoicing, an atmosphere of grief and disappointment is produced in the family at their birth.
This is the position, today, but in the pre-Islamic times, the daughters were positively considered a shame and disgrace among the Arabs, so much so that even the right to live was denied to them. Many a hard-hearted parent used to strangle his daughter to death, with his own hands, when she was born, or bury her alive.
The Holy Quran says: “When news is brought to one of them, of the birth of a female, his face darkens and he is filled with inward grief. He hides himself with shame, from the people, because of the bad news he has had. (Asking himself): Shall he keep it in contempt or bury it in the dust? Ah! What an evil choice they decide”. (1)
Abdullah Ibn-Abbas reports that the Prophet (PBUH&HP) said: Whoever becomes the father of a girl, he should neither hurt her nor treat her with contempt nor show preference over her to his sons in kindness and affection. Both boys and girls should be treated alike. Allah will grant him paradise in return for kind treatment towards the daughter.
It is narrated by Anas that the Prophet (PBUH&HP) said: The believer who bears the responsibility of two daughters and supports them till they attain puberty, he and I will be close to one another like this on the Day of Judgment.
Anas adds that the Prophet (PBUH&HP) showed, by joining the fingers of his (the fingers were close to one another), in the same way, will the believer be close to him on the Day of Judgment.
Abu Saeed Khudri relates that the Prophet (PBUH&HP) said: Whoever bears the responsibility of three daughters or sisters or even of two daughters or sisters, and bears it well, and looks after their training and welfare properly, and then, gets them married, Allah will reward him with Paradise.
In the above Traditions, the Prophet (PBUH&HP) has not only stated that kind treatment was the natural right or claim of the daughters but, also that the believers who fulfilled the obligation towards them in a good and proper manner would be rewarded with Paradise in the Hereafter. He further, gives the joyful tidings that such a man will be close to him, on the Day of Judgment, as the fingers of a hand are, when joined together.
Continued on the next article: http://Children’s Rights on Parents 2
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- Qur’an 16:59.
