Bringing Up Children in the West (1)

Bringing Up Children in the West (1)

It is one of the most important duties of the parents to protect their children from falling a prey to the evil and sinful habits and practices of the western societies. It becomes even a greater challenge for the parents living in the western secular societies because the chances of children being spoiled is far greater in these countries than in most of the eastern countries like Pakistan and India, Iran and the Gulf. And if the Parents do not perform their duties well then it becomes very difficult for the children to remain on the right track. It is just like that if a child does not know how to swim and we throw him into the river then obviously, the child will drown. Similarly, the practice of sex and lust is a river of sin and error and if we do not train our children to swim and fare safely through this river then the children cannot be expected to remain safe from being drowned in these sins.

Trust of God

Due to freedom of sex and disobeying the laws of God, people are dying in Millions by means of sexual diseases, like Aids, Cervical Cancer etc.. The sin of sex and lust can destroy not only the worldly life but also the life of the Hereafter. According to the traditions the most precious (valuable) trust and deposit (save keeping) of Allah that the Muslims have are the Quran and the Ahlul-Bait, and after these two possessions the most precious trust which people have are the children.

 And man is both responsible and answerable for these possessions as he has been made a trustee over them. Sometimes we see that parents feel satisfied over the fact that they themselves are following the rules and regulations of Islam and performing all their religious duties but their children sons and daughters do not care for their religious duties and obligations, and for this the parents blame the social setup and the social conditioning. However, this is not a good excuse, because it is the duty of the parents to teach their children the rules and regulations of Islam and thus save them from the wrath of the fire of hell. Because the Quran calls out that, It is your duty to protect yourselves and your close ones from the hell. Moreover, for this it is been stated in a tradition that the Prophet (PBUH&HP) said that,

On the Day of Judgment a shameless (dishonorable) girl would be thrown in hell and right after her the mother of the girl would be thrown in the hell fire, although the mother herself was very modest and used to cover herself from head to toe."
At this, the angels would question Allah as to why this treatment is been meted upon the woman. Allah would reply that,
She was modest herself, but did not give her daughter the lessons of piety and Modesty and Hijab.
Then the Prophet of Allah (PBUH&HP) continued that: Then a boy or a girl would be thrown in hell because these were heedless (negligent) of their Obligatory Prayers and right after them their parents (who used to perform their prayers) would be thrown in hell. Their crime would be that they used to perform their Obligatory prayers with care but never advised their children to do so and in this way they had been dishonest with the trust (Amanat) of Allah.
Let us take an example to make this notion (idea) of dishonesty with the trust of Allah more clear and comprehensible. For instance, if a man gives me a hundred rupees, and says that I should keep the money with me as his trust or deposit, and he would come to take it back after a year during the Hajj or the Ramadan season etc. If the man returns after a year and asks for the money and I deny having any such trust or deposit then can I be called an honest person. Thus, I will be called a dishonest person and I will be answerable over the money on the Day of Judgment and will have to suffer torments (afflict) of hell for that injustices. Therefore, if a man shows dishonesty with the deposit of a human being in the world then he will have to be answerable before the man and will have to suffer for his dishonest act. Thus, the point to be pondered is that if a man shows dishonesty towards a trust of Allah, then will he not be questioned over it and will he not have to suffer for his dishonesty and carelessness. Children are no doubt the deposits and trust of Allah and the parents are no doubt answerable for this trust.

Responsibility of Parents

The responsibility of the parents is to give their child a good name then to teach them to read the Holy Quran, and to say their prayers and it is not difficult to teach them these practices at an early age. The real test of the parents begin when the children enter the age of youth, because now the chances of getting distracted (harassed) are even greater.

 An Example, there was a very good boy who had a very good character and when the parents were asked to arrange the marriage of the boy the parents thought it funny that the boy should be married at such a young age. After two years the same boy who was of a very good character and who used to attend the regular Majalis of Muharram was found to have run away with a European girl. The parents still think of him to be little baby.

All the cause of these problems is narrow-mindedness and following of customs, which are against reality and intellect. Secondly, the parents profess (affirm) great demands and conditions for the marriage of their sons and daughters, which is wrong and against the teachings of Islam. The only condition, which Islam holds is that the person should be modest in character, and God-fearing.

 Once a man asked the Imam Hassan (AS) that his daughter had grown old enough to get married but he could not find any suitable proposal for her. At this the Imam asked as to what was the reason and what were his conditions and the man opened a list of his conditions at which the Imam said that he was wrong because the only thing which should be seen in a man should have fear of God (piety). Moreover, the Imam gave a logical explanation by saying that, "When the daughter would get married to a man who is fearful of God, then even if he would not like the girl because of some of her habits. If he is fearful of God then he would not torture your daughter. On the other hand if he had everything which you demanded but was not God fearing then he would torture your daughter if he would not like your daughter.
Divorce has become a business and a fashion in the west, while this act is condemned and looked down upon in the eastern countries like India and Pakistan. We find many examples where women get married to a Millionaire and then get divorced to secure money, and then they get married to another man and get divorced to secure money. Thus, it is a business and moneymaking profession of many women, because these practices are not condemned in these countries. Unfortunately, our Muslim families are becoming a victim of the curse of divorce too, and we find many cases in which thousands of dollars are been spent on divorces. The reason of all these tensions is that people do not seek an Islamic solution to these problems and react very emotionally and impulsively (sudden action) on very insignificant problems.

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